We Bend, Then We Break
by MiaMoscato
Summary: Ashley's going off to college but she's not ready for all the uncertainty it brings.
1. Welcome to College, Ashley Davies

I had driven down Veteran Avenue, made a u-turn, drove back up and then down again. I did this about 13 times and each time I wished for x-ray vision so I could see beyond the campus wall. Maybe if I could see students lying on the grass, or eating while highlighting their notes, or talking with their professors as they followed them to their office…maybe if I saw any of those things, I would feel more at ease. Instead all I could see were the top of some of school's buildings peeking through the gaps in the trees planted just behind the wall.

When I couldn't avoid it any longer, I made a reluctant left onto Strathmore Drive, drove straight into UCLA's campus and parked in the first parking lot I could find. I cut the engine off but didn't move further.

 _It's not too late to back out,_ I thought. I hated high school - most of it anyway - and college just seemed to be the same, with adults. I suddenly missed Jessica. I knew I would see her later, but I craved her reassuring touch and her comforting words. I had half a mind to drive back to USC just to see her again. But I already knew what she would say:

"It's called a gap- _year,_ not a gap- _two years._ "

She was extremely corny sometimes, but she was right. I had already taken the year after we graduated to do whatever I wanted. She was now a year ahead of me and we wanted to finish school and really start our lives together.

A loud tapping on my window made me jump. Some unusually pale face kid was smiling at me. I stared at him for a moment before putting my window down.

"Hi! Do you need help?" He was more eager than anyone should be, with an uneven haircut and a bright green shirt on that read: _If you're a freshman, I can help!_

"Uh…I guess." I pushed open my door, unconcerned of it gently hitting the helpful boy. He quickly moved out of the way and patiently waited as I jostled through my purse. Pulling out a crumbled sheet of paper, I smoothed out the wrinkles and scanned the document. "I need De Neve Plaza."

"Oh! Okay, well it's a little bit of a walk from here, but there's no closer lot." He thought for a minute. "There's temporary unloading parking… You can drive up there, drop off your things and-"

"Does it look like a brought a lot with me?" I ask as I motion to my tiny silver Porsche. I was also pretty certain that if I got back into my car, I would peel out of UCLA's campus and never look back.

"Ok, well then you just exit this lot…" He continued to give directions as I popped my trunk and pulled out a single duffle bag. I figured that whatever else I needed, I could just buy along the way. It wasn't as if I really planned on _living_ in my dorm. I had a bet with Jessica that my roommate – or roommates – would annoy me in an hour. Jessica bet that I would be annoyed in less than 10 minutes.

"Thank you," I mumbled when my helper was done with his instructions and I started to walk away but stopped short, sighed and instantly pinched myself. My therapist told me to do this every time I was starting to act in a way that someone may consider rude or may hurt someone's feelings – so basically about 10 times a day. I pinched myself so much that I had semi-permanent marks on my hands.

"Hey… what's your name?"

He looked startled at the question. "Oh, um, Travis."

"Nice to meet you Travis. Thanks for your help."

Travis grinned widely, as if these words had lifted his spirits and he almost skipped away while I headed in the opposite direction.

Out from under the parking garage, I squinted up at the path in front of me, placing my hand over my brow to shield from the sun. De Neve Plaza sat on top of a steep climb. I could see my daunting future in front of me and my feet felt like lead. This felt familiar.

When I met Jessica, she was sitting 2 rows in front of me, laughing at an inaudible joke that her friend had just whispered into her ear. Her bright orange curls bounced and glistened gold as the sun shinning through the large classroom seemed to land solely over her head. She hadn't turned around, so I couldn't see her face, but I was memorized.

I watched her until the teacher walked into the class and introduced herself and just like that, sophomore year at Westridge had begun. I hadn't seen her before which was weird because I had been at Westridge since 4th grade. I knew everyone - I knew the girl that had whispered in her ear - but I didn't know her and thus I was intrigued.

I sat through 45 minutes of European History, halfheartedly listening to Ms. Mitchell passionately give an overview of the course. I nodded when her glance fell on me, and scribbled a few notes that seemed to be important but the new girl kept on distracting me. I didn't understand why. My feet felt heavy and I could hear my heart against my chest. When the bell rang, I sprang up, as if I needed the extra burst just to move, grabbed my bag and sat in the newly vacant seat next to her.

"Hey." She turned around and I finally got to see God's work. Her tan skin was covered in chestnut freckles. Her lips were full, her brown eyes mysterious, and the smile that crept unto her face was amazing.

"Hey back at you."

"Who are you?"

She laughed. "What?"

"I mean, I've never seen you before. So…?"

"Ok…?" Her eyes narrowed and one of her perfectly arched brows raised.

I liked her instantly. I pushed my hand out to her. "I'm Ashley."

"Jessica." And as she took my hand into hers, the start of our friendship began.

I shook my head and got myself off of memory road and started walking up the road in front of me. Once I reached De Neve Plaza, I checked with the front desk where they told me my room assignment and give me a wireless key. Making my way through the crowd of students, I reach the elevator and took it up to the 4th floor. I reached my door and took a deep breath. I could hear "Fast Car" playing through the wood and I instantly felt calmer. At least my new roommate had good taste in music.

I opened the door and peaked my head in. She was standing on her bed, hanging a poster over the post but at the sound of the door opening, she turned – slightly startled - looked at me and smiled brightly.

"You're here!" Hoping off the bed, she walks over and extends her hand out to me. "Hi, I'm Spencer."

"Ashley. Nice to meet you."


	2. Light Party Drugs Club

**Present Day…**

"Hey Ash, do you want to come to the club fair with me?"

I grimaced at the idea. People, so many people, peddling the false joys of group activities. I had no interest in leaving the dorm, let alone leaving the dorm to join a club.

It had only been 2 days since I moved into the dorm; classes started in 3. I had spent most of that time unpacking the few items I brought with me and purchasing the many items that I didn't. Spencer was pretty in and out, and so there was plenty of alone free time. Yesterday, I had driven over to Jessica's and spent a few hours with her. She, like Spencer, was heavy into school and spirit and clubs. Not wanting to feel like I was holding her back, I drove back and spent hours strumming on my guitar and watching Spencer zip in and out, offering small Hi's & Bye's as she did. This was the first time she asked me to join her.

As if she could feel my hesitation, Spencer backtracked. "I mean, you don't have to. I've just noticed that you haven't really left… it could be fun."

"It's not really my thing," I explained.

"Okay, I get that." Spencer nodded before slipping her purse over her shoulders and tying the laces of her white high-tops. Her golden hair fell in front of her face, but I could see she was a little disappointed. I figured she wouldn't ask again – she didn't seem pushy – but I quickly felt that mental pinch. I didn't think I was being rude or mean, but maybe I could just try. _What is the big deal?_ I asked myself. At the very least I'd keep her company as she roamed the club tables. I imagined Spencer probably thought she would get this bubbly and energetic roommate that she would spend the next 4 years building a meaningful and life long friendship with. Instead, she got cynical and detached Ashley Davis, the girl who hated most people and all groups and the feeling of grass beneath her toes – _It just really creeps me out, okay?!_

"Bye!" Spence said as she opened the door and started to walk out."

"Spencer, wait…" She looked back, eyebrows raised but still unassuming. "Can you give me 10 minutes to get dressed?  
She smiled brightly. "Sure."

Thirty minutes later, we were walking down the hill, in comfortable silence, blinking into the bright California sun. It felt awkward, yet familiar. Like I was meeting my best friend for the first time.

 **Four Years Ago…**

"So this is where you live, huh?" Jessica walked into my foyer, looking up into the 19-foot ceiling at a dazzlingly obnoxious and slightly out of place, antique Baccarat chandelier. She wasn't in awe, or impressed or assuming, instead just took the entire space in. She roamed through, loosely following me as she examined my home. Light poured in from all sides, illuminating the beiges, grays & whites of the furniture. She lingered, for a moment, on the shrine of photo frames, a small grin forming on her face as she saw the tiny version of me on display.

"Come." I urged, shifting her attention to older me, standing at the foot of the floating staircase, holding onto the glass banister. Her grin widened and she glided over to me, following me up stairs that opened to a sun soaked second landing. To the right was a panoramic view of the Pacific. Hardwood floors guided us down an open hallway of closed doors. I could feel Jessica's curiosity building behind me but she asked no questions. When we reached the last door in the center of the hallway, I turned and smiled which was reciprocated tenfold – her orthodontically straightened teeth brightly rivaling the sun.

"Voila," I said as I opened the door with exaggerated grandeur, bowing slightly and placing my arm out as if I were greeting the queen of England. Jessica lifted her skirt and gave me a curtsey before entering.

Now she was impressed. My room was a cacophony of deep purples, royal blues and glistening golds, a complete juxtaposition from the clean lines and muted colors of the rest of the house. It was slightly messy – remnants of that morning's wardrobe indecisions laid strew about the floor – but otherwise, everything had a place.

An array of guitars lined the back wall; some on floor stands, some mounted on the wall, surrounding my bedpost; one lay on the bed. Jessica strolled through and dragged her fingers across the strings of a few, stopping to examine the lone one on the bed. Most of the guitars I owned were unused, merely collector items or decoration for me, but the wood on this one was well worn – the two tone sunburst pattern completely rubbed away in some parts - the strings curled in excess from the tuning pegs and multicolored tape cover parks of the fretboard.

"Is this a strat?"

"Yeah, a 1959 fender strat," I said proudly as I walked to Jessica and picked up the guitar, lingering for a moment to marvel at it's broken beauty before placing on the only empty stand. "It's the first guitar my dad gave me. It was his. He said he got it from Mike McCready, though I'm not sure how much I believe him," I explained, chuckling at the thought. "No matter how many new ones I get, the songs always sound best on that one."

Jessica nodded. "Will you give me a show sometime?" I raised my eyebrow suggestively. Jessica rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean!"

I laughed. "Sure."

I watched Jessica continue to explore the room, her examination meticulous. Her fingers grazed the vintage embroidery, her eyes studied the overlapping black & white photos plastered on another wall and she sniffed each perfume on my vanity – even dabbing a little of my favorite on the small space behind her ear.

A loud ring abruptly cut through the serene silence and Jessica - slightly startled - stumbled to find her phone. She looked at it with a smile before flipping it open. "Hi Baby!"

 **Present Day…**

"Ashley?"

I shook my head and looked at Spencer who was squinting at me with her hand over her brow. Her eyes were a perfect spring sky, her smile warmer than the gentle sun.

"Huh?" I hadn't heard the question.

"Anything look interesting?"

We were in the middle of the club fair with bannered tables and a mass of excited students surrounding them. Chess, Mathletes, LGBT, Film and so many more. As I figured, nothing seemed enticing; nothing except turning on my heels and heading back to the safety of the dorm. But I stayed rooted in place and gave a weak smiled.

"Not really, but let's look around."

Spencer seemed pleased with my mere effort and we strolled aimlessly though the sea of students, letting that comfortable silence fall over us again for a moment.

"So…what _are_ you into?"

"Ah, where do I start?" I retorted. "Guitars, snowboarding, maintaining my tan, forest green, women, tattoos, light party drugs… Do they have clubs for any of those?"

Spencer let out a roar of a laugh that made my heart stop – either out of fear or pure elation, I wasn't certain. "I don't think so but maybe we can start one."

My phone rang as I chuckled at the idea. "Let's do it." I pulled my phone out of my pocket and smiled at the bright screen, before pushing "Talk" and holding up an apologetic finger to Spencer. "Hi Baby!"


	3. Well, this is fucking awkward (sexscene)

I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling with the weight of Jessica's head upon my chest, her hair tickled my chin as I rubbed the small of her back. She had fallen asleep and I dared not move. Her hair smelled of coconut, lavender and hints of tea tree. I drowned in the fragrance. A few moments later, Jess finally stirred, wriggling her body against mine to get more comfortable.

"Hey sleepy head," I whispered, brushing my lips against her ear.

"Mmmhum…hey," she responded, her eyes still closed, but a small smirk played on her lips. "How long was I asleep for?"

"About two hours."

She shot up. "Two hours?! And you didn't move?" I shook my head. "Why not?!"

"You looked so beautiful. So what if the left half of my body lost all feeling?"

She laid back down on me and hugged me tight. "You're such a good pillow."

I nodded in agreement. She rubbed my stomach and tip toed her fingers around my belt. "What time is your roommate coming back?"

"She didn't say… Why?" I asked, knowing exactly why she asked.

"Well…" she started as she effortlessly slipped her hand under my pants, shifting her weight up as she slide her hand further down, "I think you deserve a big thanks."

"Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?"

"Hum…" she pretended to think as her index brushed my clit. "How about…I make the world's best pillow scream into one?" And with that she expertly plunged two fingers into my already wet pussy and my breath hitched.

Her free hand found her way to my pierced nipples and her pillowly lips, kissed every inch on my neck. She lingered on the throbbing vein as she suckled gently. Her breathing made the hair on my neck rise.

I started to find my rhythm with her and gently grinded on her fingers. I positioned my thigh between hers and pulled her hips down so she could grind on me. The friction distracted her, and she paused for a moment to catch her breath.

"Fuuuuck," she hissed into my ear and I smirked. She grabbed my face and took my bottom lip between her teeth, biting down and breaking the skin. I could taste my blood in my mouth, but I didn't care. It didn't even hurt. Maybe it was the adrenaline.

I looked up at her. Her eyes were closed tight, her lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed and her breathing heavy. She had lost concentration in my own ecstasy; her fingers lying lazy inside me.

"Sooo, what happened to this 'me screaming into a pillow thing'?" I teased, my eyebrows raised.

She opened her eyes, and looked down at me heavy with lust. She grinned wickedly. "Oh yeah…" She suddenly pulled her fingers from inside of me and licked them slowly, catching every ounce of me on her tongue. I could have come right then and there. She quickly flipped me over, tore my pants down, firmly smacked my ass and plunged her tongue deep inside of me.

She turned around and laid her head right beneath me and pushed my waiting pussy onto her face and slipped her fingers back into me. I concentrated on not coming too quickly, knowing the longer I held out, the better. I bucked my hips up every time I got too close and she promptly pushed me back down but before throwing some dirty talk in there.

"You gonna cum for me baby?"

"Yesss"

"Are you close?"

"So close."

"Wait for me…" I looked back and her free hand was frantically rubbing her clit then dipping into herself, pulling her wetness out and working on her clit again.

"Oh Jess…" I could barely breath at the sight.

"I'm so close."

"God yes." Our moans collapsed atop of one another and I was certain the entire floor could here us, maybe even the entire building.

"Come with me baby, now." Jess demanded a few moments later."

"OH. MY. GOD!"

"Fuck Ash, yes."

"No, Jess, stop. STOP!"

"What?" She pulled from under me and we both stared at a shell-shocked Spencer standing in the doorway, a stack of books in her arms. She stood there staring at us, staring at her.

"Spencer."

"Oh! Ash-Ashley…and J-Jessica, yeah? I just wanted to drop these books off." The pile tumbled out of her hands onto the floor. "Uh…no big deal. I-I'll get these later. Give you guys some privacy…" She turned quickly, almost hitting the doorframe as she did and damn near ran away, letting the door slam behind her.

I looked at Jess.

"Well she seems nice."

It had been about three hours since Spencer walked in on my impromptu sexcapade and I was starting to think that maybe she requested a room change. Jess had left back to USC so she could get some rest before classes started the next day. She, for who knows what reason, decided that a 7am class was a good idea.

My own class didn't start until noon. I really liked my sleep and I really liked my drugs. Either I was asleep somewhere or high somewhere or a combination of both. Either way, I needed the extra time to get my shit together.

I wasn't as bad as I was in high school. Jess really helped me get my shit together enough to graduate. She was the valedictorian, while her girlfriend sat many rows back with a solid 2.2 GPA and rolling on half a molly. But hey, C's get degrees.

I heard the doorknob turn and the door opened a crack.

"Ash? It's me…everyone decent?"

I walked over to the door and pulled it open. Spencer's pale cheeks were still flushed, her big blue eyes even larger as she looked at me.

"Whew! I thought you changed rooms."

"I tried but no luck." My jaw fell slack. "I'm joking!" She lingered in the doorframe for a moment with a goofy grin on her face before shaking her head. "I brought coffee…and possibly stale pastries."

Spencer produced two coffees and a brown paper bag in a cup holder to me.

"Stale?" I said as I reached out for them, letting Spencer walk into the dorm.

"Yeah, well they were free, so I don't have high expectations." She sat on her bed and kicked her shoes off.

"How'd you get them for free?"

"It was almost closing…and I'm pretty sure the barista was hitting on me."

I raised an eyebrow. "Well then… was he hot?" I peeked into the bag and the smell of blueberries wafted up my nose.

" _She_ was cute - a bit young looking though. I'm sure she'll be 'hot' in a few years." I should my head and chuckled. "What?" Spencer asked.

"Fucking straight girls. Always getting whatever they want from un-expecting, naïve baby dykes. "

"Hey! Wait, I didn't ask for the damn scones!" She took a sip of the coffee I handed her. "And… who said I was straight?"


End file.
